How often, when you feel nervous or unsure of yourself, do you repeat a phrase like “You’ve got this” over and over to yourself? Or maybe it’s “I deserve this” or “abundance flows to me”. You keep repeating all of these in the hope that they will balance out the very real fear-based thoughts that you’re running. Thoughts like “I really suck”, or “My friends on social media are doing so well, how come I’m poor/ugly/unsuccessful?”. Or even “Who do you think you are to deserve this or achieve this?”, and so on.
So, in order to subdue the emotions that arise you construct a counter-message, an affirmation, using your conscious mind. And why not? New Age teachings assure us that if we repeat it often enough we will come to believe it and it will become our reality.
But unlike the affirmations, your stories and beliefs don’t originate in your conscious mind, they reside in your subconscious mind.
The Stories We Cling To
Those old stories have been a part of your beliefs for longer than you can remember. You believe those stories about yourself, at a very deep subconscious level. This belief you have in their validity means they pervade all your thoughts, actions and interactions with others. And that’s totally understandable because after all, you’ve carried them for most of your life.
These stories are the product of what was repeated over and over when you were a wee small child. Some were even passed down to you from generation upon generation of your ancestors. Sometimes these beliefs originated from patterns of behaviour you observed in others when you were a child. They may have come from things you were told over and over again. Or they may have arisen from positive reinforcement of the way you behaved, such as when you were praised for being ‘a good girl’ or the times when you didn’t complain or question.
The child’s interpretation of what happens in the adult world around them creates firm beliefs about how life works. But children don’t have the life experience to understand all the subtle levels of meaning that exist in adult behaviour and words. Also, they are often unaware of crucial aspects of the whole picture.
At best, the beliefs, stories and habits that arise from their interpretation of the world or from what they learn are based on the fears held by others, or the child’s own misconceptions.
Clinging on to those old stories may make you feel safe because they are familiar. But doing that prevents you from living consciously in alignment with your True Values.
Why Affirmations Don’t Work
Trying to change your personal stories, deep beliefs and the habits and actions that arise from them, from your conscious mind by using affirmations is doomed to failure.
Affirmations have been promoted by New Age teaching as a fool-proof and integral part of the formula for success. But the bottom line is that the New Age has sold you a crock! And that’s because it’s only given you part of the formula.
Positive affirmations have their place, and they can influence your thinking to a degree. But they are never going to permanently dislodge the deep, subconscious patterning that created and cemented those beliefs for you. If you don’t go in and do the work to change those beliefs at a deep level, they’ll still be there as soon as you stop saying the affirmation.
It’s a little like wallpapering over cracks in the plaster. The wall looks lovely again, but the cracks are still there and eventually something will come along to destabilise that wall even further, and it’s going to collapse.
The problem with relying on affirmations is that they originate from your thinking mind. But your beliefs and stories are stored in a different part of the mind, the subconscious. From there they seep out quietly and influence the conscious mind.
Unless the affirmations you are using have been formed using all three levels of mind – superconscious, conscious and subconscious – they won’t be enough to shift those beliefs. The beliefs will stay right where they are, continuing to do what they’ve always done.
You cannot shift thoughts located in the subconscious mind, from the conscious mind alone.
To release and disempower these beliefs you need to do so on all levels of mind
– subconscious, conscious and superconscious.
An Alternative To Affirmations
But there’s an alternative to using affirmations to change your stories, which has two steps. The first is to break the old limiting beliefs so they no longer control your power. And the second is a powerful process to support you through those times of frustration, confusion and fear.
The Key is Refined Awareness!
Whenever the beliefs appear and you respond by shrinking back into your feelings of unworthiness, ignorance, lack of capability, repeated failure, shame or any other emotional response they trigger, remember these three things:
1. These beliefs are not facts about you. They are not true. They are simply stories. Say this to yourself as a reminder because this is the only affirmation you really need. Repeat it if you need to. You will find that the story will recede and lose its power over you, and each time you do this it will happen faster.
2. Notice your response and ask yourself what you noticed about your response. What triggered it? What was the belief it triggered? Where else have you heard that same belief echoed in your family, friends, society, church? How did it make you feel? DO NOT get sucked back into the associated emotion. However, if you do, repeat the statements above until the emotions pass. When you can examine this belief without the emotion overcoming you, you will get deep insight into the backstory. It gets easier to stay outside the emotion every time you do this step.
3. Continue to do this process every time your old beliefs get triggered. Don’t beat yourself up if you forget, or get caught up in the emotion, or have trouble identifying the triggers. This is not about judgement or self-recrimination. it’s about reclaiming your personal power so you can live in truth.
The Process
In those moments of frustration, confusion or fear when these beliefs and stories take hold, you are far better served by focusing your attention on maintaining your presence in the present moment, than you are by chanting affirmations.
Remaining present and accepting the fear you’re experiencing opens you to infinite possibility.
Staying in the present moment opens you to the abundant creative power of the Universe. You enter that “something-excellent-can-happen” moment where all possibility already exists.
Fully Present In The Moment
To stay in the creative moment of possibility is really simple.
✰ Focus on your breath.
✰ Notice yourself, sense your surroundings and feel into your body.
✰ Feel into each of your senses individually, hearing, smell, taste, touch, sight, and internal feelings. Notice what you notice through each of your senses.
✰ Breathing in, and breathing out.
✰ Watch the rhythm. Notice any sensations that are present in your body. Actually ‘feel’ the breath and the way your body responds to the slow rhythm.
✰ Breathing in, and breathing out.
✰ If your mind wanders simply declare to yourself “I’m back” and bring your focus back to your breath.
✰ Breathing in. Breathing out.
✰ In, and out. Engage with the rhythm of breath.
✰ If it helps to maintain your focus repeat the mantra ‘Peace’ on the in breath and ‘Power’ on the out breath. These two words hold the power of polarity – feminine and masculine, matter and spirit. Together they take you to the power point of balance and harmony.
✰ Continue until you feel grounded, calm, strong and at peace.
Connecting through this simple practice will always draw you into the present moment. You’ll quickly feel calm, centred and confident.
Because of course all the best ideas and insights emerge when you’re fully grounded in the present moment, when you’re in ‘FLOW’.
